Chapter 20: The Celestial Deity

After two days of adjustment, Su Yunqing felt that being at sea was no longer so unbearable. She no longer had to hide in the cabin sighing helplessly, nor did she have to grit her teeth against the sea breeze on deck.

She wasn’t seasick anymore.

Yet, now that she was feeling normal in this cramped space, boredom crept in. Before, lying in bed dizzy, she could ignore everything; now, fully awake, she found herself wanting to find something to do.

But Ling Yuan, knowing she was a girl, rarely shared the same room with her. Whenever she was inside, he would stay outside with Huang Tu.

Although Huang Tu showed friendliness toward her, it mostly stuck close to its master. Several times, she secretly took Huang Tu away to keep her company, but it soon became distracted and returned to Ling Yuan’s side.

She had tried to get closer to Meng Hu and his group, but their conversations often veered into inappropriate topics. They would glance at her expression, and when she left embarrassed, they mocked her behind her back.

“Women, always whining…”

Ling Yuan felt that since he had promised her, his sole responsibility was to ensure her safe arrival at Cenzhou. He had no obligation to keep her entertained.

So she stopped paying attention to them and amused herself by drawing a chessboard on the eight-immortals table in the cabin, using corn kernels and beans as pieces, happily playing alone.

Every evening, someone would approach their ship in a small boat to speak briefly with Ling Yuan and Uncle Kun.

On this day, the small boat came again; after exchanging words, the person immediately left.

Seeing Ling Yuan’s expression, Su Yunqing asked, “So we can’t dock at the harbor again tonight?”

Ling Yuan nodded. “Yes, but it’s okay. We have enough supplies on board. At the next port, if we still can’t dock, someone will bring us provisions.”

Su Yunqing nodded in understanding, but her questions grew: It had been three days already, and the docks wouldn’t let the ship berth. What were they doing? What was the ship carrying? Why couldn’t they dock?

Looking at the others on the ship besides Ling Yuan, Su Yunqing broke out in a cold sweat. These burly, coarse-mouthed men joked without avoiding her presence, and when discussing serious matters, their eyes flashed with menace upon seeing her.

They were clearly not men of the straight path. She hadn’t yet integrated with them, and if she ever angered them, her life might be in danger.

She couldn’t die; she still had a great vendetta to settle.

Standing on deck, staring at the turbulent sea while pondering a plan, footsteps clattered rhythmically inside the cabin. Over less than an hour, this came and went five or six times, all in the same pattern.

Curious, she went to the door and saw Meng Hu, clutching his stomach in pain, repeatedly rushing to the latrine.

“Oh, Brother Hu, running back and forth to exercise?”

Meng Hu shot her a glare. “Exercise my ass. I’ve got diarrhea.” He slumped onto the nearest stool by the latrine, then immediately tensed, eyes wide, clutching his backside as he dashed back inside.

When he came out again, Su Yunqing pointed to a bowl of tea on the table. “Brother Hu, swear to the heavens first, then drink this tea. I promise your trouble will be gone by tonight.”

Meng Hu looked doubtful. “You really mean it?”

“If I lie, you can throw me into the sea.”

Meng Hu picked up the tea, ready to drink.

Su Yunqing grabbed his wrist, taking the bowl back and setting it on the table. “Hey, you have to swear sincerely to the heavens, promise to keep your word, or this won’t work.”

Eager, Meng Hu said, “What oath? Tell me, I’ll do it… ah… wait a moment, be right back.” He hurried back to the latrine, legs trembling as he returned, nearly lifeless. “Hurry… say it…”

Su Yunqing smiled slyly. “Okay, I’ll say a line, you repeat after me.”

Meng Hu nodded.

Su Yunqing raised her index and middle fingers. “I, Meng Hu, swear to the heavens today: No killing for a month, no bullying the weak, no mocking others!”

Meng Hu held up two fingers too. “I, Meng Hu, swear to the heavens today…”

He reached for the tea again, but Su Yunqing pressed down on the bowl. “Not done yet. Also, be kind to others, keep smiling, speak politely, and behave decently!”

Meng Hu repeated the words before eagerly drinking the tea as if it were sweet nectar.

“All right, you might have one more bout tonight. These words have been passed to the heavenly deity in charge of the intestines and stomach. After that, you’ll be fine.”

Meng Hu’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Really?”

Su Yunqing said firmly, “If I lie, feel free to toss me into the sea.” She trusted the imperial physician’s medicine fully. “But remember your oath. If you break it, your trouble will come back immediately because you’ve lost credibility, and the deity won’t care.”

Meng Hu forced a smile. “Fine, I’ll trust you for now.”

He went back inside and didn’t come out again.

Early the next morning, Su Yunqing was still asleep when someone knocked on her door.

She opened it to find one of the men, who asked, “Coming to see me so early? What’s up?”

The man smiled broadly. “Miss Cheng, to be honest, I’ve long suffered from hemorrhoids. It’s so painful I wish I could die. I have no one to turn to. Can you help me contact the heavenly deity in charge of the anus? I’ll swear any oath, just to be cured.”

Su Yunqing frowned, scratching her head. “This…”

He quickly clasped his hands in a polite gesture. “Is it difficult? I can be kind, keep smiling, speak politely, and behave decently.”

“Wait a moment!” Su Yunqing closed the door, rummaging through the small porcelain bottles in her bag. The imperial physician had given her various common medicines, but none for hemorrhoids.

If she didn’t treat him, she’d expose herself. It was like lifting a rock only to drop it on her own foot.

But her father once suffered hemorrhoids and the imperial physician advised against alcohol, suggested eating coarse grains and easily digestible food.

She reopened the door and said, “The deity in charge of the anus rests on alternating days. Today is the eighth day of the month, so he won’t be on duty until tomorrow. But you’d better start swearing now to ensure he hears you as soon as he returns. What’s your name?”

“Banjiu.”

“Alright, repeat after me: I, Banjiu, swear to the heavens today…”

Banjiu repeated every word precisely.

Su Yunqing then warned him not to drink alcohol, eat meat, or spicy and cold foods today, and to rest in bed as much as possible.

Banjiu asked, “Why didn’t Brother Hu have to do these things?”

Su Yunqing bit her lip and said confidently, “Because the deity in charge of the anus used to be a monk.”

Banjiu believed her wholeheartedly and followed her advice without fail. Sure enough, the next morning, he felt no pain going to the bathroom.

“Truly miraculous!”

In just two days, Su Yunqing had become close friends with Meng Hu and the others, while Ling Yuan remained distant, preferring to be alone most of the time, lost in thought.