Chapter Two

The young girl was incredibly vain, always fussing over her appearance. I knew her—or at least, I thought I was very familiar with her outlook on life.

However, in our conversations, I discovered her thinking was quite advanced. For instance, when it came to shopping or her future, she could connect even the most trivial matters to create her own theories. These skills were actually quite useful, especially when it came to survival—a topic I once raised.

When I asked her, "Is it survival or death?" I immediately chose death, feeling that one should avoid death to ensure safety. She disagreed, saying it required profound analysis—specifically, analyzing concrete problems.

"What, you know philosophy too?" I asked. "I'm just like that."

"I think you might have a passive attitude toward your work," she replied. "And I suspect you're lacking when it comes to interpersonal relationships, aren't you?"

I said it was fine, perhaps I had just grown dull from staying along the railway line for too long.

"I think both of us are wrong," she continued. "I don't know what the author intended, but I believe the answer to 'survival or death' lies somewhere in between. It is a process of pursuit; even if you fall a hundred times, you must spread your wings and fly."

I found her a bit paranoid, perhaps even extreme.

"You're wrong, brother. I hope you'll seriously consider my words: you must live your life well."

"I think things are just fine as they are," I replied. "Look at where you’re saying this!"

"It doesn't matter. You people on the railway are all like that; deep down, you know it yourselves."

"We have our own choices. What is a choice? For you, it's nothing—just work, work, work. We have plenty of room to choose. A person must have ideals; I suspect you've lost yours. You can't—you must firmly move forward. Even if you fall every time, you must stand back up. It’s inevitable. Why? Because that is development. I want to develop."

"I never would have guessed you were so knowledgeable. I think a person is just a mouth to feed."

"Then you are wrong. Please, go ahead; you have no aspirations."

I wanted to say something, but held back.

"But brother, I know you folks at the small station like to drink a little, to liven things up. I think that's fine, but doesn't it depend on the station master? You need to be careful."

"Careful of what?"

"Careful that he doesn't ruin you."

"Surely not."

"Then I won't say anything more."

"I'm still very curious how you 'local' people view this society."

"Society is a complex system. How should I put it? A system is a whole that forms a self-coordinating mechanism. We are a part of it. As a member of society, I feel extremely proud. However, one must pay attention to one thing: living in a country ruled by law is the greatest happiness. We must thank the Party and the national government for working for our benefit."

"Go on."

"That's all!"

"That's it? I feel like I really want to be like that, to achieve something in the local area, to develop."

"That won't work. Many people fail there. You must become an expert in your own field."

"Society is a product of development. It is absolutely abstract, but what we see is material. It is very, very realistic; that is why it is so affluent, so rich, and so full of everything."

"I really want to experience this society, but..."

"But you are all somewhat closed off, and your thinking is wrong."

"Well, it's fine. I'll just do my job well."

"Do your job, my foot! A person should be starting their own business, daring to venture out, daring to develop."

"Daring to venture out? I’m afraid."

"Then you’ll never accomplish anything. I look down on you."

"Don't be like that! Little girl, aren't I here to learn from you?"

"You need a good lesson. I don't have a high level of education, but I have my own thoughts. Personally, I think one's ideology is the most important thing."

"Ideology? Is that more important than money?"

"My life is quite simple—just rest and work. I spend most of my time at the station."

***

One time, when I had to work a double shift, I caught her in the act.

So, the little girl was this loose? I was stunned.

On my way off shift, I passed the dormitory where Old Li from the cafeteria and his wife lived. I popped in for a stroll and found a plate of lamb offal on the table. I grabbed a mouthful to eat. There was also liquor, but I didn't dare drink any because the leaders were coming for an inspection. I finished eating and hurried away. As I passed Jiang Bin’s dormitory, I saw Ma Ming drying his fishing haul. "What a bumper crop!" I praised.

"You should go rein her in," Ma Ming said. "Behind your back, she's practically becoming the 'public property' of the barbershop."

"Who? I don't really understand."

"Your friend, the little girl. It's such a pity, a real shame. She’s such a fine girl."

"Where? Who is it?"

"Jiang Bin has been sleeping with her."

I went to check. I went back and grabbed a pair of scissors; my Hui brother Ma Ziyuan told me there was a knife in the drawer.

I snatched it up and stomped into Jiang Bin’s dormitory. The two of them were frozen in shock.

"What is the meaning of this? Get up!"

"We’re in love, please don't interfere," Jiang Bin said, standing up stark naked and kneeling beside me. "Please, spare me. Please, spare me."

"This is my business! Mind your own!"

"Why shouldn't I mind? I’m going to mind."

"Get out!"

"You’re an innocent girl; this really shouldn't be happening."

"Innocent my foot! Stop saying things like that."

I asked her, "What is going on?"

She said, "Let me explain. It’s all for money. It’s human nature."

Actually, I didn't want to interfere, but we were close, so I felt I had to. "Tell me, what are you going to do?"

"The worst that happens is I quit. Who are you talking about?"

"You, just you! What are you? You're just a dog!"

"Damn it... sigh!"

"Don't you know you’re just making it easy for him? That guy is just a temporary worker, and you—you have so much potential. Do you not want to live anymore? I’m going to tell your parents."

"My stepmother? Forget it. She only cares about herself and that little girl she brought along who acts like a noble."

"Those things are secondary. You need to conduct yourself properly. Are you going to change or not?"

"Even if I change, it'll be the same."

"You really are a jack-of-all-trades."

"I'm just doing it for the money. Earning money isn't easy."

"I understand that, but you can't be like this."

"What else do I have? What else?"

"Yes, I still need to think about it."

"You have a job, but I don't. I need the money."

"Fine, then leave."

"I’ll leave, then. He paid me."

"Damn it!"

"If you continue to be a fallen woman, do you believe me? You will have nothing."

The little girl was actually very beautiful, with large eyes and a high nose bridge—naturally graceful. But her innate stubbornness had led her to new ideas.

She didn't want to live anymore. It was as simple as that.

***

When passenger train 1068 was heading toward Xi'an and passing through Zhaisala Station, taking the second track, she thought of a way to stop the train by forcing a slow-moving freight train on the opposite track to block it. The driver wasn't a pushover either; he maintained his speed, and the two trains began a game of chicken.

In the end, the passenger train driver was slightly more skilled, as his mission was more critical.

Quick as a flash, while everyone's attention was fixed on this serious meet-up of trains, the little girl nimbly slipped onto the second track of the passenger train 1068.

Seeing this, the driver slammed on the emergency brakes. Oh, it was truly terrifying—there lay a girl on the grassland