Chapter Forty-Five: The Stars in the Sky Remain Silent

Dong Yanyan turned to look out the window and realized that it was truly raining outside. The raindrops beat rapidly against the glass, and it seemed to be pouring heavily. It was already November—why was it raining instead of snowing?

“No need, winter has just begun. I can't possibly let you keep helping me like this, or the station chief will fire me.” She laughed.

Song Mingcheng thought for a moment and replied, “True!” Then he took her car key off the keychain and handed it to her.

*

After lights-out that evening, Dong Yanyan returned to the dormitory with her book in hand. She happened to run into Li Hui, who was carrying her washbasin out to freshen up. Li Hui stepped aside, and with a loud bang, slammed the door shut behind her.

Dong Yanyan couldn’t stand this kind of behavior. With a cold expression, she asked the others in the room, “What’s gotten into her again? I didn’t do anything to upset her, did I?”

“It’s not you. The teacher chose the third one as class representative, and Li Hui’s feeling unbalanced about it,” Leng Yue said with disdain. Liu Ying, nestled in Leng Yue’s bed with a flashlight reading “The Ball of Fat,” remarked indifferently, “Let her throw her tantrum. I don't owe her anything.”

Dong Yanyan knew that Liu Ying and Leng Yue were as close as two halves of a whole. Liu Ying was a bit petty, but Leng Yue was generous. Seeing her looking unhappy now, it was clear Li Hui must have been especially unreasonable today.

“Exactly, just ignore her. She’s been slamming things around all night. Our dorm finally has a class committee member, we should be happy—not jealous like her! What kind of person is she, anyway?” Gu Xiaohan grumbled.

All girls have a sense of vanity, but Li Hui’s blatant display was excessive. She always seemed out of place with the rest of the dorm, and now she was even less likable. Dong Yanyan quietly considered this, feeling it was none of her business. She already knew what kind of person Li Hui was—why bother getting angry with her?

“You stepped on my foot!” Xinran cried out in pain. Dong Yanyan realized she had indeed trodden on something and quickly moved her foot, climbing up to the top bunk. Looking down at Xinran, she smiled, “Luckily your feet were facing this way today, otherwise I’d have stepped on your head! Sorry!”

“If it were my head, you wouldn’t have been able to step on it,” Xinran muttered regretfully.

“Right, next time let me know before you turn over,” Dong Yanyan laughed as she made her bed.

“Every night I remember my mother’s words, the shimmering tears of the lupine flower...” Lu Tian hummed cheerfully as she returned, placing the flowers she held in a vase on her desk.

On the top bunk, Yu Xia was studying by candlelight. As soon as she saw the bouquet, her eyes lit up in envy. “So beautiful! Who gave them to you?”

“Do you even need to ask? Her boyfriend, obviously,” Gu Xiaohan replied with a smile.

Lu Tian giggled and didn’t answer, instead lighting a candle and reading by her desk.

Soon, Li Hui returned with her washbasin and immediately saw Lu Tian reading by candlelight. Her face darkened as she snapped, “Lights are out and you’re still burning candles? It’s so bright—how’s anyone supposed to sleep? If you want to study, go back to the classroom! Why are you pretending here?!”

“I light candles every night and you sleep just fine, like a dead pig. The fifth one is the only one who can’t sleep with the light, but she hasn’t said a word. Why are you making a fuss?” Yu Xia retorted angrily, slamming her book and glaring at Li Hui.

“Exactly. We’ve covered the candles, how much light can possibly show? Sister, did you take gunpowder today? Who upset you?” Lu Tian replied breezily.

“You all keep fussing about the fifth one, as if she’s perfect and I’m nothing! What has she ever given you?!” Li Hui grumbled angrily as she climbed into her bunk, yanking the curtain closed.

“I just like her, does it bother you?” Lu Tian said with a sweet smile, feigning coquettishness.

Gu Xiaohan, now annoyed, scolded, “You rascal, go hang out with her then!”

“Fifth, Tian’s confessed to you—why don’t you climb down and tease her?” Leng Yue laughed.

“Huh? Has Big Sister Five returned? We’ve been talking all this time and she hasn’t said a word—not her style!” Lu Tian walked curiously over to Dong Yanyan’s bed, pulled aside the curtain, and saw Dong Yanyan sitting there wiping away tears.

“Sister Five, what’s wrong? Who bullied you?” Lu Tian leaned over the bed, puzzled. Seeing this, Gu Xiaohan and Leng Yue also came over, while Xinran poked her head up curiously from the lower bunk.

“It’s nothing, just suddenly missing home,” Dong Yanyan sniffled. In truth, she was missing her child. She had been deliberately avoiding thoughts of Lulu, pushing away the longing and guilt in her heart. Now that she had come back, Lulu was the one she felt most sorry for. Her own life had restarted, but what about Lulu? How pitiful is a child without her mother? Xu Cheng had endless overtime, unable to take care of her; neither grandma nor maternal grandma were reliable. If Lulu was cold, hungry, or bullied at kindergarten, who could she turn to? The more Dong Yanyan thought about it, the more selfish she felt, and the worse she felt for Lulu.

“There, there, don’t cry. Even my heart aches for you,” Lu Tian said softly.

“Missing home? I think you’re just upset about not being chosen as class representative,” Li Hui said crossly from the opposite bunk.

Dong Yanyan’s mind was filled with thoughts of Lulu, and she wasn’t in the mood to argue. The others soon returned to their beds and stopped talking.

After a while, a quiet voice came from Dong Yanyan’s lower bunk, “Do you think everyone’s like you?” It wasn’t loud, but everyone heard.

Xinran rarely spoke, but when she did, her words were astonishing.

Li Hui was silenced, unable to retort. The dorm fell quiet, broken only by Dong Yanyan’s suppressed sobs.

She cried herself out that night, even in her dreams—searching for Lulu but unable to find her. In the blink of an eye, more than a decade had passed. The next morning, awakened by her alarm, the sky was still dark. She wiped her tears, hurried through her morning routine, and rode her bicycle to work.

The city streets had been washed clean and clear by last night’s heavy rain. Dong Yanyan rode her bike through the streets, watching the dim yellow lights rush past. Everything felt unreal except for the biting wind that whipped past her ears, freezing her face and hands. She hadn’t ridden this far in days, and the exhaustion hit her hard. Finally, after finishing her newspaper deliveries, she hurried to the third floor, hoping to leave the last copy on Teacher Tang’s desk. By chance, only Teacher Chen had arrived early—he was alone in the office.

“Good morning, teacher!” she greeted politely, handed him the newspaper, and quickly turned to leave. As she reached the ground floor, the bell for morning self-study rang—she was right on time.

She returned to her classroom, still chilled, collapsed onto her desk, gasping for breath and coughing several times.