Chapter 117: The Eccentric Robber

After scolding for a while, the proprietress knocked the innkeeper on the head. "What are you still standing there like a fool for? Go pack our things. Those two fiends have left, and it's time for us to move on."

Rubbing his head, the innkeeper aggrievedly asked, "Why do we have to pack up and move just because they've left? Isn't that just asking for trouble? Look at how much our wealth was spread around yesterday—the way people around us look at us is so much better than before! First thing this morning, quite a few people invited me to dine at their homes. I think..."

With a sharp *slap*, the proprietress struck the innkeeper on the head once more, the flesh on her face trembling. "You idiot, what do you know? We are turning over a new leaf. Didn't you hear what that fiend said yesterday about how walking down dark roads leads to meeting ghosts? Besides, if they turn back around and return, your old lady here doesn't want to lose her little life a second time!"

"Ouch! Are you addicted to hitting me on the head? You know I'm already dense enough. If you hit me again, I'll turn into a complete fool!" Seeing the proprietress's impatient expression and her hands itching for another strike, the innkeeper shuddered. "Aiya! Stop hitting me, I'm going right now!"

Liu Ling'er had originally thought Baili Xian would once more play the chivalrous protector and give her a piggyback ride—after all, being carried and not having to walk was quite comfortable. Unfortunately, today Baili Xian merely glanced at Liu Ling'er, and seeing that she had no problem walking, directly took the lead and strode forward.

Lifting her head to look at the sun, Liu Ling'er muttered, "It seems daydreaming in broad daylight is inappropriate. Oh well, consider it exercise!"

Seeming to show some consideration for Liu Ling'er as a wounded person, Baili Xian did not walk very fast, so Liu Ling'er kept up without any pressure. Coupled with the fine weather—spring flowers in full bloom and mountains covered in lush greenery—it felt less like the two of them were hurrying on a journey and more like they were sightseeing.

They eventually reached a mountain. This mountain was quite tall and massive, and going around it might take the better part of a day. Therefore, after a quick glance and confirming that Liu Ling'er's feet were fine, Baili Xian directly decided to cross straight over the mountain.

It seemed quite a few people shared the same idea, for there was already a distinct path leading up the mountain. Compared to other places, this trail was remarkably clear. Wasn't there a saying: originally, there were no roads in the world, but as people walked them frequently, paths were formed?

That applied perfectly here as well. There was no path on the mountain originally, but with so many people crossing it, a mountain trail emerged! With the path left by predecessors, Liu Ling'er and Baili Xian found their journey much more convenient. Mountain climbing required continuous momentum; if one kept stopping and starting, the sense of fatigue increased almost exponentially.

However, none of this was an issue in the eyes of two martial arts experts. Baili Xian had originally assumed that mountain climbing would be terribly grueling for Liu Ling'er, but to his utter astonishment, the way Liu Ling'er climbed completely shattered his expectations. Holy crap! No matter how one looked at it, Liu Ling'er was climbing smoother than walking on a wide road—she was simply like a fish in water!

When they reached the summit, Liu Ling'er's face was neither flushed nor her breath short, exuding the demeanor of a true master. As for Baili Xian, beads of sweat had already seeped onto the tip of his nose. A comparison between the two immediately revealed the difference in their prowess.

Actually, Baili Xian shouldn't have been puzzled. In her past life, Liu Ling'er had studied under a master on a mountain far taller and steeper than this one. Often, her unscrupulous master would drag her out of her warm bed at the crack of dawn, haul her straight to the foot of the mountain, and declare that breakfast would only be served once she climbed back to the peak.

The mountain where she learned her craft had one precipitous side and one relatively forgiving side, and every time, her master would dump her right into the ravine on the precipitous side. Moreover, that mountain didn't even have established trails like this one. Year after year of such training, it was hardly surprising that Liu Ling'er had cultivated a set of exceptionally proficient climbing skills.

Sitting at the summit to rest, Baili Xian asked perplexedly, "Tell me, Liu Ling'er, are you a monkey reincarnated? How is it that you seem to climb mountains as if it's second nature, even though I've never heard of you climbing any mountains before?"

Seeing Baili Xian's unconvinced look, Liu Ling'er purposely put on a smug expression. "Heh! Some things are just innate. I dare say this is the first mountain I've ever climbed in this lifetime!"

Could you die if you didn't manage to infuriate someone? Baili Xian turned his head away to gaze at the scenery below, completely ignoring Liu Ling'er. And Liu Ling'er wasn't wrong; this was indeed the first mountain she had climbed in her current life.

It had to be said that spring was a season sent by the heavens to adorn the mortal realm. Looking down from the high peak, the colors were far more vivid and dazzling than those seen from ground level. The breathtaking scenery stirred Liu Ling'er's emotions to the point where she wanted to loudly recite a verse or two. Unfortunately, her literary talent fell a bit short, and whatever she could barely muster failed to fully express the profound emotions in her heart.

So, she shamelessly plagiarized the masterpiece of a predecessor. Lifting her chin and puffing out her chest, Liu Ling'er chanted loudly, "To gaze from the highest peak, and see all other mountains as small."

Upon hearing these two lines, Baili Xian was utterly shocked. Had he not heard it with his own ears and seen with his own eyes that the poetry came from Liu Ling'er's mouth, he would have suspected someone else was reciting it.

After waiting for a long time, Liu Ling'er stopped after just two lines and simply couldn't recall any other matching verses. If she had known this would happen, she should have memorized more ancient poetry, like the Three Hundred Tang Poems. Look at how things were right now—pulling out those classic poems was the ultimate tool for acting sophisticated!

Baili Xian asked quizzically, "Why is there only one line after all this waiting? In such a setting and mood, reciting a few more lines would be the only way to do justice to this magnificent view."

Liu Ling'er gave an awkward cough. "Ahem! Do you think composing poetry is like eating or drinking, where you can produce as much as you want whenever you like? Especially the exquisite poetry I compose—it's practically like pregnancy, the gestation period is quite long!"

She spoke with such high-sounding arrogance, but in the end, it all boiled down to having nothing in her stomach. Still, to save face, Liu Ling'er came up with a lame excuse. Baili Xian didn't expose her either, simply letting out a chuckle.

Climbing a mountain is arduous, but descending is effortless. Baili Xian and Liu Ling'er practically jogged their way down. Had an accident not occurred halfway, they undoubtedly would have reached the foot of the mountain in one breath.

The two of them had been running along smoothly, but as they neared the base, the sound of footsteps echoed from the woods on both sides. In the blink of an eye, the path ahead was blocked. To make matters worse, some lunatic had stretched a rattan rope right across the middle of the trail; if Liu Ling'er hadn't stopped in time, she undoubtedly would have tripped.

Even without tripping, if the two of them couldn't check their momentum, they would have crashed straight into this group of people, and the resulting chaos would have been massive.

For ordinary people rushing down such a steep slope, stopping would indeed be nearly impossible. However, Baili Xian and Liu Ling'er were naturally no ordinary folk. Taking a sharp breath, they slowed their pace well in advance, shifted their momentum sideways, and with their bodies leaning, came to a halt in the blink of an eye.

Glancing at the uninvited guests ahead, Liu Ling'er immediately grew displeased. "Who are you people? Blocking the road for no good reason—don't tell me you're planning to rob us!"

And wouldn't you know it, Liu Ling'er's mouth truly had the potential of a crow's curse—good things rarely happened, but bad things always did! Among the crowd, two burly men carried over a tree stump, and a dashing young man stepped out from the formation, seated himself upon the stump, crossed one leg over the other, and with a *snap*, flicked open his folding fan, waving it with carefree elegance.

Had someone brought over a table and a cup of tea, anyone unaware of the situation would have truly thought he was here to appreciate the spring scenery.

What left Liu Ling'er utterly speechless was that this dashing young man actually started singing: "This mountain was opened by me, this tree was planted by me! If you wish to pass this road, leave the young maiden behind!"

Liu Ling'er and Baili Xian exchanged glances, their expressions freezing in mutual bewilderment: After all that buildup, it really *was* a robbery? And my dear boss, shouldn't your standard bandit slogan be roared out with majestic grandeur? How did it turn into a song, not to mention that you completely botched the last line!

Though they desperately wanted to deny it, reality was harsh—Liu Ling'er and Baili Xian had indeed encountered bandits. Moreover, they were eccentric bandits, god-tier moronic bandits.

If the bandits hadn't misspoken, this wasn't a robbery of wealth, but a classic robbery of beauty. Liu Ling'er was utterly baffled; as she had dashed down the mountain, these people couldn't possibly have seen her clearly. How did they know she was a woman, especially since she was in disguise? To be able to tell she was female despite her cross-dressing—bandit brother, do you perhaps possess X-ray vision?

A burly man standing behind the young man poked him in the arm. "Young Commander, the people opposite are men. Did you say the wrong line?"

The dashing young man's face instantly stiffened. That's right! His facial paralysis had flared up again, making him mistake two men for women. He had lost face to the extreme!

Waving his folding fan with a trace of disappointment, Hu Li awkwardly said to Baili Xian and Liu Ling'er, "So the two gentlemen are men! I am truly mortified. I didn't see clearly and made a complete farce of it. No offense taken, no offense taken. Please go on your way, gentlemen!"

Liu Ling'er was left somewhat disoriented. If these people were out robbing just to seize beauty, with no other source of wealth, how on earth did they fill their stomachs? Fortunately, she was dressed as a man; had she been in women's attire, escaping this situation probably wouldn't have been so easy.

However, none of this was her concern. Since the path was clear, she would naturally leave. It wouldn't be good if these bandits suddenly changed their minds.

With Baili Xian in the lead and Liu Ling'er following behind, they walked up to the bandits, only for one of them to suddenly step forward and block Baili Xian's path. "Wait a moment!"

The bandit then leaned down and whispered a few words into Hu Li's ear. Hu Li snapped upright, causing Baili Xian's heart to tighten as he suspected the bandits were reneging on their word. Just as Baili Xian prepared to strike first, he saw Hu Li deliver a fierce slap to the bandit's face.

The force of the blow sent the bandit flying as he collapsed sideways and began tumbling head over heels down the slope, coming to a halt only after colliding with a boulder. Estimating the distance, he must have rolled a good ten meters.

Liu Ling'er and Baili Xian exchanged glances once more. Why did this look so much like an internal conflict among the bandits? And their bandit leader didn't pull any punches at all—with a single real strike, he had sent a man flying.

They watched as Hu Li spat on the ground. "I thought you were usually honest and reliable, but to think you actually suggested robbing a man and dragging him back to the stronghold! Have you lost your mind from lust? If I ever hear you suggest such a thing again, I'll beat you until this notion is thoroughly knocked out of your head!"

Liu Ling'er's face turned red, and she mentally scoffed. So the beaten bandit had lost his mind and actually wanted to forcibly take a man! Fortunately, the leader's orientation was normal, otherwise just the thought of it made her skin crawl with discomfort.

Baili Xian's expression was equally dark. To think this bastard had such depraved thoughts! If he hadn't seen the fellow receive his punishment on the spot, Baili Xian would have beaten him to death right then and there.