Chapter Fifty: Running Naked

The corners of Baili Xian’s mouth twitched. “Beauty! Are you sure you want to eat these? You won’t find them here, but if you don't mind, we can go to the largest restaurant in the capital!”

Su Yunyun waved her hand. “Your Majesty, please forgive me, I was merely speaking for amusement. Let’s just eat here. Since Your Majesty favors this establishment, the breakfast must be excellent. However, I’ve heard that the White-Cut Chicken at Moon Phoenix Tower is famous throughout the capital. As a mere woman, I cannot go there…”

At this point, even if Baili Hai were clueless, he would be a fool. Since the beauty wanted White-Cut Chicken, how could it not be arranged? “De Gui, go now to the Moon Phoenix Tower and buy a plate of White-Cut Chicken.”

Liu De Gui hesitated. “Your Majesty, if I leave, what will you do?”

Baili Hai’s eyes narrowed. “What, are my orders no longer effective? When I tell you to go, you go! I’m not a three-year-old child. It’s broad daylight and a clear sky. What are you afraid will happen? This is the capital—if anyone dares plot against me here, how will I tour the realm next year?”

The emperor’s resolve was firm; no servant in the palace dared defy him. Liu De Gui cast a warning glance at Su Yunyun, then hurried off to purchase the White-Cut Chicken.

That was precisely what Su Yunyun wanted—to get rid of Liu Gonggong. Seeing her plan succeed, she and Baili Xian entered the Ma’s Tea House. Baili Hai was a distinguished guest, so the owner immediately led them upstairs.

After sampling the breakfast, Su Yunyun couldn’t help but sigh—fine wine fears not a deep alley. The breakfast at Ma’s Tea House was indeed delicious.

Keeping an eye on the time, Su Yunyun calculated that Liu Gonggong was far enough away. She excused herself to Baili Hai, saying she needed a moment, and left. The urgency of nature cannot be denied; though Baili Hai was eager to continue teasing Su Yunyun, he could not follow her in such circumstances—not realizing this was the start of his misfortune.

Baili Hai waited, but no beauty returned. Instead, a palm struck him, knocking him unconscious. Afterward, Su Yunyun smirked slyly, then began stripping Baili Hai’s clothes.

When Baili Hai was left wearing only a pair of underclothes, Su Yunyun brought in the sack she had fetched earlier and stuffed him inside.

Baili Hai awoke groggily, feeling icy cold all over. Around him, voices rang out, laughter erupting again and again.

How could it not? Though spring had arrived, the weather was not as warm as summer. He was nearly naked—how could he not be cold? And who wouldn’t stop to stare at a grown man, clad only in underclothes, sprawled before Moon Phoenix Tower?

There was never a shortage of nosy people, nor a lack of those hungry for entertainment. Soon, the crowd invented their own reasons for Baili Hai’s predicament. “If you ask me, this guy probably came to Moon Phoenix Tower for pleasure but had no money, so they threw him out.”

“Nonsense! If he had no money, how could he get in? I think he got handsy with Ice Phoenix, the top courtesan. Everyone knows Ice Phoenix sells her talent, not her body. Not beating him up and tossing him out is already merciful.”

Suddenly, Baili Hai’s mind cleared. He remembered being ambushed. Opening his eyes, he saw the crowd staring at him. Realizing he wore only his underclothes, his face turned ashen, darker than a liver.

Without a word, Baili Hai dashed toward Moon Phoenix Tower, hoping for sanctuary. But the tower’s guards were strict and allowed him no entry, stopping him at the door.

What a joke! Everyone knew Moon Phoenix Tower’s doors opened only for money. If you had none, don’t bother. Charging in wearing only underclothes—clearly penniless. Did he think he was the owner, or that his pretty face would entice the courtesans to sponsor him?

Sorry, but he was in the wrong place. He should hurry to the brothel in the neighboring alley.

Desperation brings out ingenuity. Baili Hai immediately turned and sprinted toward the Prince of Virtue’s mansion. Though the capital was full of officials’ residences, it was unseemly for the emperor himself to run in such a state to any minister's home.

Wow! The crowd followed Baili Hai’s mad dash, shouts echoing, “Hey, look, someone’s streaking!”

Others chimed in, “Where? Where? He’s got underclothes on—how is that streaking? Ah, the morals of today!”

Baili Hai ran wildly, the women along the street shrieking—not the excited cries for celebrities, but the panicked screams reserved for perverts.

At the Prince of Virtue’s mansion, Liu De Gui anxiously questioned Su Yunyun, “Quick, where has His Majesty gone? If you don’t tell me, I’ll wring your neck!”

Su Yunyun feigned terror to the utmost. “I don’t know! I just went to relieve myself, and when I returned, the emperor was gone. I waited for him, but he never came; then you showed up.”

Liu De Gui glared viciously at Su Yunyun. “You’d better pray His Majesty is unharmed. If anything happens to him, even nine heads wouldn’t be enough to save you.”

Su Yunyun trembled even more, her fright growing. Suddenly, her eyes sparkled. “Gonggong Liu, look! Isn’t that His Majesty?”

Following her finger, Liu De Gui saw his master, nearly naked, sprinting down the street. His face changed instantly. Unfastening his own robe, he rushed forward and draped it over Baili Hai.

Baili Xian also emerged, hurrying Baili Hai into the mansion. He had known Baili Hai would suffer misfortune, but never imagined he’d be stripped and forced to run nearly naked by Liu Ling’er and Su Yunyun. Though it was satisfying, discomfort lingered in his heart.

After the commotion, Baili Hai quickly composed himself and returned to the palace—no longer in the mood for romance or poetry.