I am quite arrogant.

The math teacher wasn’t wrong—she was the youngest in the entire grade and, without a doubt, the most rebellious. She remembered one evening during her first year of high school, during the self-study period at seven-thirty. That night, the four of them—two boys and two girls—returned to the classroom after using the restroom. They weren’t late, but the English teacher still scolded them. They hurried to their seats, but the teacher continued, this time singling her out.

“So young, yet completely shameless. A girl like you, not bothering to study, only knowing how to flirt and cause trouble. Even in class, you’re busy throwing flirty glances…”

Hearing this, she was certain the English teacher was talking about her. Last time in English class, she and Lou had whispered about what to do after class; after agreeing, they exchanged winks, and the teacher had caught them, accusing them of flirting during the lesson. She’d known she was at fault then and hadn’t taken it to heart. She hadn’t expected the teacher’s words to grow more venomous this time. Furious, she sprang to her feet and shouted, “Xu Lihua, I’ve respected you as a teacher and kept quiet, but you really think you’re something, don’t you? You’re addicted to insulting people now? Who did I ever flirt with? Did I ever try to charm you? No one even understands your broken English! Do you even know how you got this job? Your teaching is nothing but abuse—do you have any skill at all?”

She saw the disbelief on her classmates’ faces, and saw the English teacher’s body trembling with rage as he roared, “Get out! Don’t ever show your face in my classroom again!”

With disdain, she replied, “Hmph, as if I care!” She left the classroom and went straight to the math teacher’s office, where she used the office phone to call the principal.

After that day, she never appeared in his English class again. Her classmates told her that during lessons, the English teacher would hide his face behind his textbook. Students were often summoned for talks by the principal, the school office, or the academic office. A week later, a new English teacher arrived, and Xu Lihua was never mentioned again. Everyone knew he’d gotten his job through connections from the countryside and had no real teaching skills. In less than a semester, he’d managed to offend every student—except for her, because she had been the one to finally stand up and make a scene.

After that incident, she became famous throughout the school—the girl who had ousted the notorious Xu Lihua from Grade One, and did so without a sound. She was certain the school had already blacklisted him, but lacked the catalyst to act. Her outburst had provided just that. The school discreetly investigated, and in the end, Xu was dismissed.

Perhaps it was because she’d been pushed too far by Xu Lihua, but she began to despise English, so much so that just reading an English word made her nauseous.

“Mu Qingxi, what exactly have you been up to at school? How dare you insult a teacher?” Because of this incident, her mother beat her, leaving red welts and even some bleeding on her arms. It made her wonder if she was really her daughter, or just someone picked up off the street.

When she was little, beatings brought sobs; in elementary school, quiet tears; in middle school, silent endurance; by high school, she met violence with cold indifference. Every time, she was left covered in wounds, unable to be touched.

Why didn’t she ask her for the reason?

Why didn’t she listen to her explanation?

Why didn’t she try to understand her?

Did she know how exhausted she’d become from being beaten?

Did she realize that now, right or wrong, she no longer bothered to explain?

Did she understand that now, she had nothing left to say to her?

“Hello everyone, my name is Mu Qingxi. I’m fourteen years old. I like scribbling words and doodling at random. I don’t like people bossing me around.” This was her self-introduction after the division between liberal arts and sciences in her second year.

“So young! So arrogant!” she heard her classmates exclaim. Most of them were sixteen or seventeen, some even eighteen.